Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
