I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
