im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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