The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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