do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
