It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
