Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
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the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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