I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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