I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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