You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
