He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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