we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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