Umm I'm too high to move.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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