sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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