so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
