It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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