He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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