i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
