what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize