I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
