Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i need some magic done to my vagina
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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