i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
