Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
