guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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