im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
