OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
