She said her name was "party"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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