One girl and one boy is just not enough.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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