You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
