my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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