So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
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