sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize