I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We left the knife in your bed.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
