I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
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There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
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What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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