she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
