Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
