Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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