Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
