I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
