but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
