Define "chronic" masturbator.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
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So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
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