when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
This is my gift to your gina
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
