So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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