wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
