I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
