No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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