I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
