Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
