I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
