The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
