You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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