I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Randomize
