You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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