Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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