was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
