mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
