2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
