so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
