Operation Purity has been aborted
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
