I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
