god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
