yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize