I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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