And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
