Reggie can tackle my bush.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize