Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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